Disconnected Together: Finding Connection in a Wireless World

Alright, let's jump right in. Today, we're diving into some fascinating ideas from author Lenny Lenski, who takes a hard look at the hidden costs of our super connected world.

So let's kick things off with the big question, the one that kind of hangs over everything: What did we actually lose when we all got Wi-Fi? Sure, we gained amazing convenience and endless entertainment, but it changed us in ways we’re only beginning to understand.

The first big idea is what researchers call the alone-together effect. It’s the paradox where the very convenience that was supposed to bring us closer might actually be creating a new kind of divide. Think back to something that used to be common: the whole family gathered around the TV. Today, fewer than 20% of families with kids under 18 say they actually watch TV together.

Why? Look at the content. On streaming services like Netflix, for every one show suitable for the whole family, there are ten shows made just for adults. That 10-to-1 ratio naturally sends everyone to separate rooms, on separate screens. And that’s where the phrase alone-together time comes in—you’re all physically present, but mentally in your own digital bubble.

This goes far beyond just how we watch movies. A recent study found that 89% of Americans admitted to pulling out their phone during their last social get-together. Even more striking: 82% of them said the phone hurt the conversation. MIT professor Sherry Turkle calls this the death of conversation. Her research shows that just the presence of a phone on the table—never even touched—lowers empathy and connection.

And when it comes to kids, the impact is measurable. A UCLA study asked sixth graders to go five days without screens. Their ability to read nonverbal emotional cues improved significantly. The control group that kept using devices? No improvement at all. Just five days made the difference.

So yes, the problem sounds bleak. But Lenski offers what he calls the analog antidote. It’s about rediscovering real-world joys—like puzzles, proven to boost memory and problem-solving, or the immersive focus of a physical book. Most importantly, it’s about unstructured, device-free, face-to-face time.

The contrast is stark: wireless distraction splinters our attention into a million pieces, while analog connection builds focus and deepens problem-solving. It’s not about abandoning technology; it’s about balance. It’s about a quiet rebellion against constant buzzing, and even about reclaiming boredom. As Turkle notes, boredom isn’t wasted—it’s when creativity sparks.

So what can we do? Start small. Put phones in a basket at dinner. Ask open-ended questions. Share real stories, not just bullet-point updates. And try being fully present, without notifications pulling you away.

Family time isn’t just nostalgia—it’s the soil where empathy grows, where bonds are strengthened, where memories stick. In the end, it comes down to small, simple choices. Tonight, maybe you choose the puzzle instead of the post. Choose the real conversation instead of the stream.

As Lenski reminds us: the best, most important connection you will ever have—it isn’t wireless. It’s human.